I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who are able to maintain their blogs with frequent updates that are well-written and illustrated with beautifully lit photographs of artfully arranged food or objets. Let's face it, this blog fails miserably at all those things.
I am currently on maternity leave for the second time. Life has changed significantly since that last post, although there ARE some of the banana muffins in the freezer. I have changed jobs, and in December of last year, I had my second child. The job change has been fantastic, a release. I think I was the world's most anxious barrister, and anxiety does not a good barrister make. On leaving, I realised that I had spent the preceding decade in an almost permanent state of extreme tension and worry, powered on adrenaline, cortisol and unhealthy quantities of sauvignon blanc. Whilst I miss my colleagues in Chambers something chronic, I have also felt properly happy and relaxed for the first time in years, in addition to achieving things that just seemed impossible whilst I was lawyering. I am basically alluding here to the fact that I passed my driving test six months after I resigned from Chambers.
And of course, there are the children. Number one child is now three, and will be starting nursery in September. Number 2 child is almost five months. How have the past few months been? Well, let me put it this way: I am never, ever, ever having any more children. Ever.
When Anouk was tiny, I remember asking a lot of people with school-age kids for advice. "Hmmmm" they would say, "I can't really remember what we did about that." And I would think that they ought to get themselves off to the doctor, stat, because it was clear that their memory loss meant that they had very early onset dementia. But now, I realise that Nature does this thing whereby it erases your memory of what it's like to look after a little baby. You forget the grinding drudgery of it; you forget the toxic mix of high anxiety and relentless boredom. But here I am again. It is easier, in some ways, because you KNOW that it will get better - you just have to look at your first born to see that - and you obviously know a lot more about caring for a baby. But, and I am not ashamed to say this, I cannot wait for Sylvie to turn one, for me to be back at work and for this period of my life to be over.
Well, this is jolly, isn't it?!
The real purpose behind this post is actually to make a statement of intent with regard to this blog. It is never going to feature Pinterest-worthy photographs, but what I can and want to do is to write a weekly post on something that I have been thinking about. I intend for it to range away from just the culinary, although there will be some food posts. I want to write about other things too, like clothes, and make-up, and interiors, and parenting. So that's what I am going to do: write a weekly (short) essay on something. I'm doing this partly because I have been so inspired by reading other blogs (Esther Walker and Emma Beddington, I am looking at you), and partly because I think that my brain needs to start focusing on things other than whether the baby has napped for a sufficient length of time (the answer is usually, of course, no). So here goes...